A thing called - Love


Long lasting love is difficult. It is messy. It is hard to find and near impossible to maintain. The simple truth is that 21st century relationships do not seem designed to last a distance. If you are madly, newly in love you may want to look away now.   People fall in love all the time, and do not end up spending the rest of their lives together. In part it's nature. When you are attached to someone, your body experiences an explosion of neurochemicals: dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin whoosh  around our systems, triggering that addictive rush that makes us all keep going back for more. It's different for everyone, say scientists,with effects lasting anything from six months to three years. That's when adoration turn into irritation and we begin searching for another fix, another flirtation, another relationship. Love junkies, all of us. 



I get a little nervous that the best of the years have gone by...So we panic. Is this it? It's true, i don't know anyone who has been together with their partner for five years and who doesn't roll her eyes behind his back on a regular basis. He knows you, you know him, there are no exciting secrets to reveal. No new desires. He is lovely sure, but also familiar. And we all know how the old saying goes. The laughing stoped, the sex stopped, the intimacy stopped and the affair began. Marriage comes with no guarantees. Contracts can be broken, the promises forgotten. But i do believe in long term couple relationships. Life partners, sex partners, partners in crime ha! Just stop looking for what has changed, or what is wrong, but start appreciating many things that are right. 

Little gestures can be so romantic. Offering to babysit  all night, so you can go out with a friend beats bunches of roses hands down. 
Tom and Olive - they have never had an argument, not once. Andy and Rose always sitting side by side! 
But you know what, stop measuring your relationship to those of others. And if you take things the way they come, without expectations of what relationships should be, if you stop comparing your love life to that of your friends, that's when you relax and let things be just the way they are. It's not that love can't last, it's that it can't always live up to the expectations we put upon it. 
In long-term relationships, heady, lust-inducing chemicals are replaced by more nurturing ones: oxytocin (the cuddle hormone), vasopressin and endorphins, which produce a natural sense of wellbeing making you feel soothed and secure.  








''The most important relationship in life - is the one we have with ourselves" (Diane Von Furstenberg)